Kansans and Friends In Weight Loss

In Part 2 of this series Teresa shares her personal issues with weight loss.

My head

So in my head it went like this. Usually it was one of those times where my body really mounted a great defense against me and had decided that this new low caloric intake was just not acceptable and it tried its best to make me eat. And it really pulled out all the stops and cranked the appetite up so high I thought I hadn’t eaten, ever. So I’d start with the raw carrot, then the popcorn, celery and peanut butter and finally, I’d just pig out on dinner and eat so much I felt bloated. And my body won and I just gained back a week’s worth of work of losing weight. But I told myself, oh well, more work this week. And usually it was an easier week because my body got the calories it wanted it usually left me alone. I might throw in an extra 10 minutes into my walk/run or do a few more laps on the rock wall or throw in an extra day of biking or go around the block one more time, stuff like that. No big deal.

But people who “fail” tell themselves lots of huge things, with big words, with lots of drama and negativity and bigness. Can you change what you tell yourself? Can you learn how you identify yourself? Can you see that failure is only a definition created by you? Where was this line? Where was this place you dropped off? Where did this failure exist, except in your mind and your own decision to stop eating well and moving your body? No one can define it but you, there is no end point, there’s no certain amount of days that if you haven’t eaten well, then you failed.

If I stop eating well for a month, then I can tell myself one of 2 things:

1. I failed, that diet is over, time to shelve it and find something new after I eat a lot of crap that I deserve now that I did without for a month and yet again I failed.

2. Geeze, I think it has been 4 weeks that I haven’t eaten right, now. I bet that set me back a few pounds. Actually it only set me back 4 weeks, but in the grand scheme of things what’s 4 weeks, if I start looking better in a month, any looking better is good and at the back end of it, what’s 4 more weeks, when I’m a size 8 versus a size 7? So now I eat better and get back to moving my body more. And again, in a few weeks, actually probably less, I’ll start feeling better and noticing a difference.

When people ask me how the diet’s going and I hadn’t eaten well in 4 weeks, I can answer in one of these ways:

1. Yeah, that didn’t last. Not so good, it failed. That book was stupid anyway. I mean there wasn’t even a diet to follow, plus you know it was birthday party time and all that cake, LOL you know. Oh well, better luck next time.

2. Great! It’s up and down but it’s all part of the process. I’m learning a lot about my body and I can’t wait to see a difference. (Then be grateful for the wonderful gentle reminder to eat better and keep at it).

Do you see how the external circumstances were the same but it was the choice on the individuals part that determines the failure or success?

I’ve been there. I had to make these choices. I had to answer these questions, I had to face these feelings and circumstances and I had choices. I had to face my victim identity, I had to not know who I was for a while. And so do you. Just don’t ever choose failure and you will never fail.

Epilogue

I began my endeavor to lose weight in the spring of 2004. I worked at it hard fast and steady throughout 2004, continued in 2005 but somewhere in the fall of 2005 my weight loss kind of stopped or plateaued out between 115 and 120. Sometimes it would dip a little below 115 but usually bounced back up. My size steadied at jeans size 7. Once I realized that this was where my body was going to stay I backed off on dieting and enjoyed a few more carbs and relaxed some on the training. For the rest of 2005, and all of 2006 I remained there. In 2007, somewhere near the fall, I started losing weight again. I didn’t do anything different, didn’t eat differently, or exercise differently, my body just started burning more fat. So I decided to work with it and started watching what I ate, and started doing more core work. I lost another size and instead of a soft smooth tummy, I was starting to see ripples of obliques and abs. Hubby was quite pleased and so was I, especially with so little effort on my part.

After thinking a lot on what was different, I realized some things. I hope this helps you understand the power of your mind and the power of stress on your weight loss. During 2005 I was a victim  experienced hurricane Katrina. The depression and stress, and fall out and move and subsequent debt stayed with me for 2 years (the debt hung around longer). When I started pulling my way out of that, I started feeling happier and getting back into wanting more for myself again. I started seeing other girls’ abs at the gym and wishing I could get that. I started thinking much more about my tummy I was looking at it in the mirror and trying to see what I might look like with ripples and how it would feel.

My body responded to these wishes and with my new found lack of stress it was able to, once again, put energy toward weight loss. These wishes were suggestions put to my body much like cancer patients are counseled to do during their support therapy. It works in the same way imagery works. Each time I looked in the mirror and saw my abs and ripples, even though they weren’t there, I was doing imagery.

There’s a lot of research that backs up the power of imagery. In college I was a gymnast and cheerleader then went on to coach a swim team and teach gymnastics. A fundamental part of training to was to imagine, in great detail, any part of what you’re working on. I remember every single night, when I went to bed, the new stunt I was learning, going over and over it in my mind, where my hands were, when I jumped, where I looked, where my legs went, in perfect execution. I would do this many times. We know through research that this causes changes in the part of the brain where the physical actions are stored, not just memory. There’s emerging research now that is studying how this affects the nerves and muscles.

So I don’t doubt that each time I looked in the mirror and visualized the abs I wished I could have I was making changes in my brain and eventually after several months of this, my body began to respond by creating that. This, mixed with the new lack of stress, caused this turn around. I wonder how much my body could have done without my help physically but I know that of all the weight I lost and muscles I’ve built, those last pounds and these abs came the easiest.

As I write this epilogue I sit at 110 and feel strong and fit, my abs look great and I must say, I never figured at 42 I’d be looking like this.

I’m not done yet though.

I’ve always had a rear end that hung down a little lower than most but after 2 kids, forget it. I have been recently picturing the buns from a beer poster girl, as being what’s actually back there, every time I look in the mirror. I can’t wait to see what I’m going to do with this……

To learn the science of how the body is programmed to hang on to or let go of fat, click here to read lots of free excerpts from the book, The Reality of Weight Loss by Teresa Bondora or log onto, www.HowToTeachScience.com where you are welcome to stay and read and learn.

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