Kansans and Friends In Weight Loss

I am running this article which I was given permission to use by Teresa Bondora in a two part series. There is a lot of good info in it and I don’t want anyone to miss getting that info.

You can’t fail to lose weight.

The only way you can fail is if you decide you’ve failed and then stop trying for a very long time. And even then, really, it wasn’t failure, it was you stopping for a while. Losing weight isn’t something that happens to you, that you do what you’re supposed to do and then sit back and hope that the weight comes off. That supposes that you are not in a position of power, that something else is. That losing weight is some mysterious thing your body does or doesn’t do for you. And you’ve got to sing the right song and dance the right dance and then IF your body agrees it will let go of the fat. Actually there is a formula to making your body let go of fat.

Powerlessness is the root of what some people call failure. Until you grow up inside your body and take charge and own the power you hold, you will remain a slave to your body and will stay feeling powerless. Every set back will be proof that you can’t do it. The truth is that your mind IS your body. Your will IS your body. You have control over what your body looks like and does.

By reading this you are learning more tools and information on how your body functions so that you can use those tools to be in control and guide the fat loss and muscle building. It’s math, it’s formulaic, it must happen. There is no failure, there’s no “let’s hope”. If you eat well, if you move your body and IF you intend to lose this weight, your body must do what it is programmed to do, it must let the fat go and build muscle.

So you are not powerless, you’re not a child, you’re not at the whim of a body that does strange crazy things. It’s measurable, it’s science, you control it. And now you understand it more. So once you take charge and realize you will lose, and the only question is going to be how quickly, then you know there’s nothing to fear, nothing to question.

If you are scared, if you are looking for the first sign of “failure” so you can quit, then you are looking to identify with failure and you need to stay overweight so you can continue to be the victim. Look inside yourself and feel if this rings true to you. Are bad things always happening to you? Do you find yourself always saying “See, I told you”, do you feel unlucky? These things are indicators that you have identified with a victim mentality. It’s alluring and easy to slide into, especially if you grew up hearing it in your home.  But look underneath that. It has sort of a childlike “somebody help me” quality to it, doesn’t it?

I’m not laying blame and I know nobody would ever WANT to be a victim, we’re talking about going underneath the surface and feeling something a little deeper. I don’t think identifying with victim-hood is something anyone wants on the surface, I believe it is frustration, a lack of answers, a true, “What’s going on, why are things like this, why is this happening to me?”,kind of thing.

It’s strange that stopping asking those questions, is actually the answer to those questions; that to help yourself, to end fear, powerlessness and confusion you have to stop feeling powerless and fearful and stop asking for help. In doing so, you have to grow up, you have to be wiling to not know and be okay with that. You have to not have an identity with “help me”, you have give up the “poor me” talk, you have to stop feeling broken and unlucky and you have to begin to say, “Okay, if I’m not those things, then what, and who, am I”? And for a while you may not know. It’s weird how people will lose friends, abuse others, make bad choices and stay overweight just so they don’t ever have to experience not looking at who they are for a while. But once you do it, once you sit in a lack of victim-hood but not yet in a place of power, you begin to get good at it. And after a while it’s not so bad. Until one day you realize that you have slowly begun to find out you are powerful. This beautiful person emerges that, all that “I can’t” was covering up all along. It doesn’t mean you have all the answers, it doesn’t mean you are perfect or that now you’ll lose weight, you won’t fail (there’s that word again) and that life will be rosy. But it does mean that now you see everything differently. And hopefully you’ll understand what I write next.

There’s no failure

So when you fall off a diet, you used to tell yourself, “See, I’m a failure, I can’t do this, I thought this diet would help but it too failed, I’m a failure and there’s no point continuing if this is just going to fail too.” But when I “fall off a diet’ , firstly, I don’t consider it falling off a diet. I consider it, eating badly for a few days. By calling it a diet, I’ve created this campaign that I’m a part of that has some direction that’s right or wrong. Then by saying the word, failure, I’ve created finality to it, not continuity. It’s not a diet, it’s eating differently to steer my body in a direction, it’s not final, everyday is a new day. Each day bleeds into the next, each hour into the next, each moment into the next. How can I separate that? So the BIG difference, the IT that will decide whether or not “this” diet works and you will lose the weight lies in what we call it, what we tell ourselves and how we see it all. Do we see some big campaign with a win/lose proposition or just another day where we are doing our best because we TRULY don’t want to be victims to our body anymore and we really want to lose the weight.

Read on tomorrow for part two of what Teresa has to say. 

To learn the science of how the body is programmed to hang on to or let go of fat, click here to read lots of free excerpts from the book, The Reality of Weight Loss by Teresa Bondora or log onto, www.HowToTeachScience.com where you are welcome to stay and read and learn.

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